You may be doing a great job teaching your kids not to use alcohol or drugs, but what about the messages they’ll get from some of their friends at school? Kids seem to get caught in a tug of war between what they hear from their parents and what they hear from their peers. In reality, study after study has found that parents can make a big difference in the choices their children make. Children today often are exposed to alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs as early as elementary school, so it’s never too early for parents and caregivers to get involved. If you let your child know up front that you don’t approve of him or her using alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs, your child will be less likely to use those substances.

Having friends who use drugs is a strong warning sign that a teen is more likely to use drugs. Keeping your child free from drug use means keeping tabs on who he chooses as friends. This is especially important during the summer months when youth often have large amounts of unsupervised time to hang out with current friends and when going back to school and making new friends.

You can’t choose your child’s friends, but you can teach your child to make and keep friends who are drug-free. The more you know about your child, the easier it will be to guide him or her toward positive activities and friendships. As you help your child look for friends this school year, you might want to:

• Look for kids who have positive qualities. Do they share your child’s interests? Are they considerate of others? Do they choose to stay away from alcohol and other drugs?
• Encourage your child to join youth groups and participate in supervised activities. Kids aged 12 to 17 who spend time in those activities are less likely to use cigarettes, alcohol, and other drugs than kids who do not.
• Let your child build friends from different places. Your child may have some friends from his neighborhood, others from school, and still others from the youth groups he joins. It’s okay for your child to hang out with lots of different people.
• Make your child’s friends feel welcomed in your home. Let your child know when he can invite friends to your house. This is a good time to meet the parents of your child’s friends.

Learn the signs and symptoms of alcohol and drug use so you can spot them in your children or their friends. Your kids’ friends matter to them, but believe it or not, you matter more. Talk with your child about what makes a good friend. Make sure your child knows that you want him or her to find friends who do not use alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs. When you teach your children to choose friends wisely, they are less likely to choose friends who use drugs—and they are less likely to use drugs.